Parenthood Is Servanthood, Not Slavery
I have a confession to make. I have two children, but I never wanted to be a mother.
I married at 24 and I told my husband pretty early on that I was pretty sure I would never want children. They seemed like a hindrance to me. I had plans. Big, big plans. I had desires. I had needs. In my family, everyone, almost to a person, seemed “burdened” with the task of child-rearing. I hardly knew a single soul in my world who had planned on becoming a parent, not beyond my grandparents. And nearly everyone was divorced. Yes, even my grandparents.
I can’t remember a single time anyone in my circle became pregnant where we actually celebrated the news. I’m sure there must have been some, but I honestly can’t remember any. Every time a pregnancy was announced, there was some circumstance that would frame that pregnancy as the worst possible thing that could happen at that moment.
The adults in my life inadvertently added to the sense of parenthood being a burden by always offering me the “friendly” advice to hold off on having a family as long as possible.
Don’t get married before you’re 30.
Don’t have more than one child, so you can really enjoy your lives together.
Make sure you don’t have kids until you are established in your career and financially stable.
Travel before you have kids. Have all your adventure before they come. It’s over once you’re a parent.
All of it added up to one message: Kids make your life harder. If you want a good life, avoid becoming a mother.
Children are little takers. They’re bloodsuckers. They bleed all your fun, joy, adventure, and prosperity. And what do they give you in return? Bills and stress.
That’s the message I grew up with, whether or not anyone meant for it to be that way.
So I wasn’t completely surprised to see this tweet come across my timeline recently. Besides the typical left-wing view of the nuclear family, I know that many people these days are raised with this underlying sense that they were somehow in the way of the happiness of the adults in their lives.
